Chasing the Donut with your hands tied behind your back

Daisy has just started homeschooling.Daisy is sensitive,funny,kind, generous,and exists mostly in another fluffier dimension inhabited mostly by talking cats and strange vehicles made from egg boxes.
Her reports were always good, her progress always reported as being, working towards where she should be,she was popular,happy and socially fulfilled beyond her years.  Often I would be told Daisy is....well just Daisy.This I understood.  The thing I couldn't understand was that she wouldn't or couldn't read.Whilst the other kids were trotting happily home with their reading books. Daisy would always hide hers,there was at first reluctance, then tears, then fear. I was encouraged to persevere, that it would improve and knowing no better I did.   Instead it got worse,so much so that she would cower under her bed at the mention of reading, nothing helped.
There were meetings in the early days,so many meetings.   I tried hard to accomplish the daily suggested reading and also "to attach importance to reading whilst not trying to teach it"  It seldom worked I remember vividly days passing before being able to sign off on a reading book to exchange it.  Everyday was hellish. I was somewhat reassured  that the PM bench marking tests were normal,although it would be a year before i learned in Daisys case this meant nothing. A year went by unnoticed before Daisy moved into grade one and Houston received the message there was a problem.

I was told not to worry this transitioning could take between two weeks and a year. Then about two months later we started aboard the carousel. We perhaps needed a Optometrist? ($140)...we found him, he said yes there was a problem with her vision..but there was more,he suggested a Behavioral Optometrist ($180) we found her. She said, yes there was a visual processing disorder,but she could help and sell us a great programme ($560) but because Daisy had indications of a more severe Auditory processing disorder that would have to be addressed  first..... So onwards to Audiologist ($120), who referred to specialist audiologist ($165)... who found an Auditory processing disorder...that could be helped by buying another programme ($1200)....but he would like an OT assessment ($130).  The OT was helpful and I was even able to save some money by doing the Paed Physio assessment he recommended myself,($0)  Huzzah!.

The very expensive Paediatrician ($250) could only do limited assessments due to there scope of practice, but could refer me on to a great specialist Paediatrician ($350)  .Thankfully this lady already knew a great speech therapist  ($120) (with only a 7 month waiting list)... who then suggested I screen for dyslexia ($850) (9 month wait list).In the meantime to formulate a good IEP  The school would require a psych assessment which i could wait three months.I chose to access a cancellation list privately to get things moving..The psych ($225) needed two assessments to really get to grips with the problem,her report ($350) suggested another specialist psych ($700) and a course of speech therapy ($90x8),It was also suggested that a Natropath,Craniosacral therapist,and Primary movement therapist be involved.At this point we had run out of money...but my relationship with my GP was now on first name terms due to returning each time for a new referral  (Hi Juliet!)
Educationally the recommendations from the Psych were easier.I needed an Multi Sensory Language Approach that was rich in phonemic awareness,that was taught in a direct explicit way, cumulative,and structured.I was lucky I knew my school had this but for the extra tuition also I found myriads of educational cure all programmes for that extra input, but under deeper scrutiny, only one tutor in the whole of WA that fitted the bill.($70 per hour 2-3 sessions a week)
She was so swamped she could offer me only one session in the middle of the day on a Tuesday, my school had already informed me that external tutors were not allowed on the schools premises during the school day,so that was out..but she also suggested that I get her visual processing tested again as nearly a year had elapsed.
BIG LIGHT BULB MOMENT!!!!!!

I could pay many people to tell me how broken Daisy was.....
I could haul Daisy around to an infinite amounts of specialists until she became so used to "being special" that somewhere she would resign herself to always being on the fringe of normality and feel that is where she should stay.(intellectual apartheid)
I could own my own fear at the lack of control this situation put me in,that yes life would be harder and would require me to up the ante and embrace the helplessness and angst full on and turn my focus back to Daisy and what she might need.
I could learn how to support those needs and find support for me.

It would be another 15 months of working on me, before I understood what she needed and why it wasn't working.
I still crash and burn,sometime daily but thats ok . I have learned one important lesson.There is never just, one way,one opinion,one answer.The answers are sometimes not as important as the questions.So be more engaged and curious with the questions instead.

Finding the right recipe

Where do you start? At the risk of sounding like guitar playing nun..."lets start at the very beginning a very good place to start"
Home schooling can be daunting, not because of a lack of information but rather because of an incredible wealth of it.

LURKING.    A first step in your journey in deciding to home educate will undoubtedly be lurking.
Lurking on Home Schooling forums can be a great way to see whats out there,consider different approaches and philosophies,bone up on your  legal obligations,share resources, review potential tools,get advice,and make contact with others.

JOIN UP Finding your local Association for home schooling and becoming a member is an absolute must do.Here in Perth the HBLN does everything from raising important social and political issues, organizing events for members, all the way to negotiating deals on educational resources.There are home schoolers on these forums that are the equivalent of Yoda in home based learning scenarios. If you have thought it,worried about it,searched for it,or second guessed it,chances are somebody else has too.Perth Homeschoolers Network and PHEN in yahoo groups are also brilliant starting points.

GET A SUPPORT NETWORK The most valuable thing I have found is to find your self a group of like minded individuals who should be..  a)  people that you really like,  b) people that share a similar sense of humour ( p.s If you have no sense of humour you should immediately go out and purchase one,you will need it later ,I promise. )  c) you should like their kids!  d) It is also good if they like your kids!
I love my home schooling group.The friendships we had initially have grown in ways I never imagined.Even if I stopped homeschooling tomorrow my life would be richer for the experience of uncovering 1001 things I never knew about -------- (insert name of friend).I enjoy being able to contribute to a community just because I can, with no agenda other than the possibility of getting a biscuit.

RELAX. you dont have to do everything right now.....RELAX you dont have to know everything right now..
One of the most important mantras is giving yourself and your children time to connect and explore and just be..A lot of people advocate a period of deschooling or unschooling,and even if you dont fall in this category .There will be a period of adjustment for everyone.Remember why your doing it.If you cant remember write it on your forehead with a permanent marker.

QUESTIONS FROM THE FLOOR Please Note: your decision to pull your children from what others perceive to be a perfectly good school will cause a variety of interesting responses, It sometimes make people uneasy and it also raises questions in there own minds,some people will take this as a personal betrayal and will avoid talking to you about the elephant in the room.(or avoid you altogether.) This is ok,keep smiling to reassure them you still love them and are not out to convert them! Others will have an insatiable curiosity regarding your seemingly insane decision.This is ok keep smiling to reassure them that you still love them and are not out to convert them.Virtually everybody WILL mention the word "SOCIALIZATION" This is ok smile and resist the urge to comment that since home school said childs social life has exploded by the power of Ten.

EXPLORE YOUR POSSIBILITIES If you could shape a world where you could learn whatever you wanted how would you build it.What does you child love?,what is there passion?.what will be there world? what do you have that is valuable? what legacy do you want to pass on? what do you want to avoid?what is important? This is the alchemy part, building a framework that supports what and how you choose to learn and enjoying it.

RELAX...again....before I home schooled I had a happy outgoing little boy who I dropped off in the morning and picked up at 3.00 We would get home,have afternoon tea,a game,park or TV.I would spend that time after, reading through notes in the school bag,marking things off the calender,packing lunches, making dinner,folding laundry,before Dad came home,then we ate and started the slow wind down to bedtime.I would ask about his day and he would tell me,usually in 10 minutes.I dont ask about his day now,now we talk about other things and sometimes its hard to stop talking.

The Gumnut Village

I think this was the day it started from.... The itchy brain cell. The one that tells you in your gut that despite following an educational philosophy you really respect and despite paying private school fees,that in some third world countries might buy an entire school building,plus a school teacher,plus their bicycle (and a pump!) It  just wasn't really working.

I am blessed with a whole gamut of children from the littlest Lily who chatters away in an almost incomprehensible but delightful fashion to any who will listen.Daisy who is so oiled in generosity of spirit and empathy that letters,words and instructions slide right off her..to Jack, who if he ever finds out he is smarter than me will run rings around me faster than you could say: Mimas, Enceladus, Tethys, Dione,Rhea,Titan, or Lapetus.

Homeschooling did not come naturally to me.I looked through many options before landing here,Mainstream,Private,Denominational,and Alternative.I found for our family whilst there were plenty of promises of "one size can be tailored to fit all" there was much less on the "one size can be tailored to fit all three". The one child I had always assumed would stay at the school he loved became the child who it was clear needed more than could be found.

In searching to solve this conundrum it became apparent that schools either had a fabulously well developed "children who are at educational risk programme" with no provision for extending the talented or gifted students,or vice versa. Negotiating the catchment areas,staggered drop off and pick up times,and the time continuum problems of being in two places at one single moment were challenging too.Even the "Music specialist over Art" or 'Sports over Drama"," library over canteen" just added more weight to the sneaking suspicion that there must be another solution.

Back then the very thought of going down the home education route would have filled me with a splintering horror..what my children?..at home ..every day?.. curriculum?..explaining algebra? The mere thought would have had me racing to a yoga retreat clutching a bottle of vodka.

So I did what any self respecting mother would do and found a sturdy fence that afforded a good but distant view to sit upon and procrastinate for a while.I meticulously weighed options,addressed priorities and investigated possibilities,but mostly, I sat.

 I could have sat for a long time I suspect, if another mother had not thrown themselves headlong  into the home education arena with all the caution of a fuzzy moth heading towards a 200w bulb I might be still sitting.All the cerebral activity I had channeled was then suddenly cancelled out in that one moment of realization that nothing could be gained or lost without actually acting on it.Her confidence, conviction and rapidity was the catalyst for what followed. 200w lightbulb moment!!!  I had to actually do it.   In much the same way you cannot wait for your perfect visualization of life to occur,you realize that your perfect life is already here,and your living it,right this second!Nobody needs to validate that for you.(although I would if you requested, for a small fee!)

So here we are Home educating.This first term has been all things, exciting, exhilarating and empowering.The first response that people say is usually "oh I am too selfish to homeschool" or "dont you need you that me time" or even the slightly less emotive "I would kill my kids if they were around all day".  I think for me essentially its that the focus is different. It doesnt so much subtract as multiply,I think, like anything, what you see depends of course on where you stand.I have never felt lessened by giving ,my needs are few  and I have much more than I need.One of my more spiritual sisters would say the greater power is not to be served but to serve.( although in practice this does not apply to coffee in Yahava where its ALWAYS nice to be served! ) my life is never dull.

This term we have wrangled bees,  marveled at feathered dinosaurs, exploded in the colours of Holi, engineered great machines, spoken dolphin, baked cakes, mapped constellations, edited films, animated clay, hatched eggs, explored and challenged gravity, learned languages, and unraveled the secrets of the Fibonacci code, explored the hearts conductivity,and why crocodiles eat stones.We have designed cities, ignited gases, and discovered we were actually swindled out of a few colours in great works of  Art.We have looked down microscopes and looked up mine shafts... and thats just the beginning.The drivers for these great learning outcomes came from the most powerful search engine out there.. a child's mind.If we listen, our children have a lot to teach us.

School education is only a tiny part of a whole persons individual learning path.Children learn despite you and because of you.A whole village really does raise a child.You already are educating a human being every second you are present (and even when you are not) Its easier than breathing and we do it instinctively 

A school has a duty and a job to educate your children,It can only do the best that its resources allow per capita student and produces as socially and academically well rounded a individual as its resources at any one time allow ,but it is not compelled nor encouraged to love them.Sometimes it is only by loving something you can truly understand it and accommodate it.

The most valuable resources to a child are time,energy,and imagination.

Be curious

Have fun

Grow

If you do not find the circumstances you need,then you go out and channel your energy into creating them.